the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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