"it" just moved
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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