Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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