I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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