i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
