put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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