I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
