Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize