I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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