thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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