so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
