If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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