Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
