It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
