btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
