just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
