I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
