Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
