I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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