I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
