As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
