Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
