do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
