At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
