You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
