i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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