Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
