i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
