Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
