but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
