is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
