i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
