HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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