Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
