so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize