Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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