She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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