my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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