i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
