yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
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I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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