Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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