chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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