What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
