I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
