Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You were trust falling into bushes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
