Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
