You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
