Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
