He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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