You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
