Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize