just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
