alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
