bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
