maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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