I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
