my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize