What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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