I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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