are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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