I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
