I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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